| so um in hindsight, myspace and facebook turned out to be WAY too stalker friendsly. I vote that we all should have just stuck with xanga. |
| |
| i love scanning things. seriously. and pushing buttons. i love cash registers in general. most people hate being at the register at work, but i have this weird fetish. which is convenient because it makes my workday go by faster. but i suppose that is kind of weird.
last night was good times. i got to hang out with tiff. we went to the basketball game at lancaster Bible college. i went because my future brother was playing. and like half of my old school was there to see this one kid who graduated from berks play. so that was interesting.
in other news, school is pointless. it will be fantastic when it's over. |
| |
| delight thyself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. ~Psalm 37:4
this verse was shared with me by the lovely kristen carder at the beginning of our weekend away as a youth group. for about a thousand reasons, this verse is awesome and on my mind lately. |
| |
| so im slowly learning how to be ok. the christian school girl in me wants to judge everything i see as immoral and terrible and not have any fun. but im learning how to love people more. i think i am. i've seen God use things that seem strange to me for His glory. and i have to come to the conclusion that lives change when God changes them, not by my will. being holy doesn't mean physically seperating myself from everything and everyone.
i wish i could just get to the heart issue of everything. that's so hard to do. like sometimes i'm sitting in church and for example, watching someone sing a solo. which strikes me as odd. singing to God, but coincidentally in front of a thousand people. the judgmentallness in me thinks that this is not right, because worship involves being focused to the point of distraction on God and not on a person on a stage. but then again, what the heck do i know about what's in that person's heart? maybe they just worship differently than i do. maybe my attitude would change everything. i have the ability to have a heart of worship at any time. so why not pick the best thing that initiates worship? why pick something mediocre and then change my attitude? but then again, why not pick something mediocre and learn to have a worshipful attitude about everything? but God doesn't deserve the mediocre. i'm just confused lately. i want to know God's heart. i don't want other people's opinions, and i hate talking to people about how i feel and having them act like i was asking them for an answer. i don't want unfounded opinions and i don't want to be talked to condescendingly. i guess most people's opinions just don't matter anymore. which might be a good thing. what other people think of me has made me do stupid things and held me back from alot.
im babbling. i don't think i even made sense. but i feel better. |
| |
